22 things I am proud of this year, disappointments, realizations....
22 things I am proud of this year, disappointments, realizations
For this year, I did not list what goals I wanted to achieve because I just forgot to do so, but I have some that I kept on the back of my mind to do.
I think instead of sharing my resolutions or goals to achieve is not going to benefit me but to share what I already have achieved because no one can say or judge me that I haven’t done what I wanted to do for this year.
This year has been so eventful, and it feels that it went by so fast because I am so busy all the time, whether it is for school or work. I sometimes regret not continuing my journalling because I become so lazy to write in the little notebook I got from Indigo. I am just so lucky to have some pictures that I can look back on from this year because there were many things I wanted to remember.
So much for the introduction, but here are some of the goals or things I achieved this year that I can share with people who might read this blog post (LOL):
- Resigned from my first job and grabbed another job after. - I finally had the guts to quit my first-ever job, which was being a crew member at Mcdonald's. It was very scary at first to leave this job because I wasn't sure if I was going to last in my other job, and I already knew how to do a lot of things at McDonald's. It was me going out of my comfort zone and finding a job that was unfamiliar to me just to learn as well.
- I Worked two jobs at the same time, and it lasted one month, lol. - Before resigning from McDonald's, I tried to work two jobs because I wanted to prove something to myself that I also could do what other people are doing right now, and that's having not just one job. I had the same reason as well on the first point in this blog because I was just scared of not being able to do the hotel job as I don't have prior experience working as a server. I eventually had to resign from McDonald's because it didn't make sense to work there anymore, as I could earn more by working full-time in the hotel.
- Went to Banff and Calgary with friends.- I had the chance to visit the other cities within the Alberta Province with friends from McDonald's. They were
- Started dating people - I already used dating apps in the past, and it wasn't for dating at all. I had those in my phone to look for hookups, for lack of a better word. The joy of hooking up with strangers and one-night stands is starting to become boring for me, and I think that's why I am already starting to look for something more.
- Finally made purchases that I liked - I had the guts to finally buy the things I aspired to when I was young. At first, it was just a "Kindle Paperwhite," then it spiraled down to buying iPhone 8, then eventually an iPhone 12 mini (both I bought in Facebook Marketplace). An AirPods pro, Sony WH-1000XM5, and finally, a Macbook Air. All those gadgets are the things that I dreamed of having in the past on having and I already have them. I still have to pay for the Headphones and Macbook next year since it was paid via installments.
- Improvements in English speaking skills are noticeable (confidence and the use of the language overall)- When I first got here in Canada, my English was not that terrible, but it was not that good either. I can communicate but cannot articulate myself that well. The move from another job made me speak to other people in English since I am not surrounded by most Filipinos anymore. The workplace that I had in the past was dominated by Filipinos, which was not bad for me at first, but if I want to make improvements, I need to surround myself with other nationalities as well. When one of my cousins pointed out that I had improved my English speaking skills, I was really happy at that time.
- Went to a pub by myself and ordered a drink. - this is a long overdue goal of mine since I always see the main character of a series or a movie going by themselves in a pub. I was really sad at that time when I went to Sherlock Holmes Pub because that was really a bad day for me. I went to Steamworks at that time as well, and I felt really ugly.
- I continued video-calling my parents, friends, and sibling throughout the year- I was always busy throughout the year, but I made sure to call my parents, siblings, and friends back home if I had time and missed them.
- I found myself realizing that my favorite aesthetic is being clean, and people find me to be clean- I don't consider myself attractive, especially coming here in Canada, where the beauty standards are different. I can't do anything about my physical appearance anymore since I don't have the guts to get plastic surgery and the money as well. I am now investing more in clothes that have high quality and fit my physical appearance more. I also invested in skincare and fragrances that made my appearance look clean. I now have a final five selection of fragrances that I am trying to keep to that amount since if I want to have a lot, it will hurt my bank account. I want to discover new fragrances that I can keep and would be my signature scents. I tossed my Ariana Grande Cloud after buying three bottles since I got fed up with the smell of it and wanted to try something new. People complimented me when I was wearing that perfume, and the most notable one was when I was just waiting for my coffee in a coffee shop. This one girl who was with her boyfriend they were already going out of the shop but then stopped to ask me what perfume I was wearing because she said I smelled good.
- Using a credit card is hurting my financial aspect of life since I am a shopaholic. - I already knew before I got a credit card that having one could be a temptation for me to buy things I wanted even though I didn't have the money for them. My plans for next year are to lessen my usage of the credit cards that I have and pay the remaining debts that I have to increase my credit score.
- Experimented with my sexuality so much this year, and I already have my limits set because of the experiences that I had this year. - I had a lot of sexual encounters this year, and I am not that proud of it, lol. I have had some good and bad experiences, but I think I will also decrease my body count next year.
- Trust my gut and instinct a bit more.
- Even though you’re close with some family members, it doesn’t mean you have to share all your thoughts about your life with them. - I thought that if you're close to that certain family member/relative in your life, you can share your thoughts with them freely. I made that mistake and decided not to do it anymore and give myself some boundaries of what to share and what not because it honestly is not helpful or beneficial to me to even do it anymore, so why waste time? I had this moment wherein I was sharing what was bothering me so much then this one person just made me feel worse, and I don't know if I was wrong at that time in not explaining myself clearly, but I think what I shared made sense and the response that I got was not satisfying to me.
- Went to an HIV Testing site despite being scared to do it. - Due to having so many sexual partners and one-night stands, it is imperative for me to do the HIV/ STI Testing to just check if I am safe since I don't know the health status of most of the people I am hooking up with.
- Most of the time, I enjoy my time being alone and exploring the city by myself, but then I often feel like I am alone all the time and I have no one. - I feel like this year was so hard on me due to not really having the constant friend group that I was used to comparing to when I was back home. I had so many times where I explored the city by myself and discovered new places like cafes and specialty shops that sometimes I wanted to be with someone to share those discoveries of mine, but then I didn't have anyone. I think it's part of adulting, wherein making friends outside of school could be difficult, especially if you possess a shy, introverted personality. Language barriers and culture are also significant factors that limit my way of making friends here. I think I can change my personality to be more outgoing, but that will just come out if I am already comfortable with the people I am interacting with.
- I deeply have to remove jealousy in my life. I am so jealous all the time, and contentment is not in my vocabulary that it often hurts my feelings when I don’t have the accomplishments, material things, or attractiveness that someone has. - I think this is a bad habit of mine that I needed to change ASAP because it really affected my life. I have things that people aspire to have, but then I still am not content with my life due to not having the things that I want. I am slowly building my possessions of things that I like, but I still want more. I do things that can improve my appearance, but it still isn't enough because people don't look at me the way I want them to perceive me.
- I have so many aspirations in life that I need to have that I feel like there are no limitations on these. I am working in a luxury hotel, and I want to have that kind of lifestyle that my guests have. Businessmen and women who, I feel like they, have their lives ahead of them and know what they are doing. I know there is a saying that those people don’t have their life figured out, but they look like it.
- Helping people, especially in public, is second nature for me. I sometimes don’t have to think about it, and I just do it. I sometimes will have second thoughts about how it will be good karma for me, but when I am doing it, I don’t think about the good returns I might get by just doing that good deed.
- I realized that I could be a bit naive and careless about my actions and words, especially in the workplace
- I spent so much money to overcome my sadness, and it helps for a short amount of time until it doesn’t anymore.
- I became a bit close to the relatives I have here this year.
- I continued using this blog a bit more this year- I had a few blogs I posted this year, and I think it's mainly because I decided to buy a new laptop, and that is not only just a laptop since it was something I aspired to own for years already. My Macbook Air M2 has been with me every time I go to coffee shops to chill because I feel so much more productive in the ambiance of being with people who I don't know.
I am sure this list is not all of the things I want to mention, but maybe I should keep track of what significant things I achieved so that I don't forget them.
Roiji, 22
2022
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